Last Kiss
by AllMonstersRHuman
Summary: A oneshot inspired by Pearl Jam's song Last Kiss and dedicated in loving memory to a dear departed friend of mine.


**Author's Notice**: _My writing has been stolen twice by someone who tried to pass it off as their own. If you recognize my writing anywhere please contact me immediately._

**A WARNING TO ALL REEDUS WRITERS**: _In light of posting a very angry author's note to the story that the content was stolen from. I have been informed by a fellow writer that many other writers in the Reedus fandom have had their work stolen recently._

_This person will most likely make a new blog, steal more writing, and submit it as their own to another innocent fic blog._ **Look out for writing you recognize and if possible inform the rightful owner.**

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**I STRONGLY URGE ALL READERS TO READ THIS ON MY AO3 (Archive of Our Own) ACCOUNT. SEARCH MY PENNAME. AO3 ALLOWS WRITERS TO INSERT IMAGES AND MUSIC LINKS INTO THEIR WRITING. **

**Author's emotional babbling note: **_When I was a little girl I loved the song Last Kiss by Pearl Jam. When I told my dad it was my favorite song he looked at me a little alarmed. He said "It's a good song but a very sad one.". When I asked him why he struggled to explain it to me because he believed I wasn't ready to handle the concept of death. I was too young to understand the lyrics and just enjoyed the sound of the song so he distracted me with something else. Two years later when I was older and I'd already lost two of my grandparents I heard the song on an oldies radio station and understood why. _

_Many years later I lost a very close dear friend in an auto accident. Even though the song didn't quite fit the situation or his gender, when I heard it come on the radio as I was leaving Wal-Mart a few weeks after he'd died, I bawled my eyes out because it made me think of him. Jenna, a mutual friend of ours, actually the one who'd introduced me to him, was with me when I'd found out he died. I remember being angry with her because she didn't even cry. But when I played that song for her later that same day I'd heard it she burst out into tears. And we just cried together, looking a horrible mess. Coincidentally Jenna also passed away the day after my birthday last year. But I'm getting off track here, sorry. The point is that song affected me greatly. And I wanted you all to feel my pain on his five year anniversary. So I thought 'Hmmm which Reedus character can I use to make the readers cry? Oh! I know! Poor tortured Van!'. And so this song inspired oneshot came about in my friend's honor._

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Every year on the same night he visits. His car gets pulled over to the extreme shoulder of the road for safety. There aren't any teddy bears or pictures left out yet because her family always visits during the day. It's better that way since they blame him. He blames himself too but he prefers to pay his respects at night anyway, at the same time every year. Right down to the exact minute he lost her.

He leans his favorite picture of her up against the weathered cross as passing headlights illuminate the image of her smiling face. His eyes sting as they linger on the sight. Blinking back tears as the car proceeds and he is shrouded in darkness again. A votive depicting the virgin mother is lit with a shaking hand. The flame ignites and highlights the name he wrote on it in sharpie, his messy scrawl announcing who's memory he is honoring. Sunflowers are laid out next, her favorite. His knees hit the ground and he prays while tears leak from his eyes. He stays there for hours cold and aching, even long after he's done talking to his savior. He swears if he'd known what precious little time he'd had left with her he would have made it count. He tells her spirit how sorry he is as the memory of that night plays over in his mind, haunting him...

"Dad I got a date with Shayna tonight can I borrow the car?" Van asked hopefully, his eyes slipping to the half empty vodka bottle seated in his father's lap.

"You mean _my _car?" the wheelchair bound man snapped, unfocused and inebriated eyes falling on the golden haired boy leaning against the doorframe.

"And who's this Shayna? What happened to Julie? Does Shayna's family have the money you need to be marrying into if you wanna get by?" he ranted, pointing an unsteady finger at his son's now downcast face.

Van hated asking his dad for anything anymore. It was the same every time. A long winded piss-fest that ended with him slamming the paint chipped door to their shitty house behind him.

"No. Her family doesn't have money and that's why I like her. She doesn't judge me because we're broke. It doesn't matter to her if I can't go to college. Julie won't even give me the time of day now because we live in this shack!" he yelled, motioning to the typically average abode surrounding them.

"What happened to people with money who you have to impress not being worth it? Huh?" he added, his voice getting louder as his father's negative attitude upset him further.

Arnold only shrugged, bringing the bottle up to his lips as he continued to stare his son down. Making Van run a hand through the back of his hair in frustration.

It was so typical of him. He didn't give a shit about his son's problems unless it was to bitch about them. Or tell him how he ought to handle them with half-assed sarcastic advice. Van hadn't heard a comforting or helpful word out of the man since his mother left. Truthfully by now he'd rather not hear anything from him at all.

"So can I borrow the car?" he asked again quietly, worrying the web of skin between his thumb and pointer finger, glancing at the clock nervously.

His dad continued looking at him, taking another swig as he swayed a bit in his wheelchair. Making Van wish he'd factored in the allotted time for his dad's usual drunken rant so he wouldn't be late picking Shayna up.

"Make sure you fill it up when you're done." his father finally slurred out, turning to face him as Van swiftly moved to get the keys.

"One scratch on it and you're-" he continued, getting cut off by the slam of the front door.

"Dead." Van muttered sarcastically, finishing his father's sentence as he made his way over to the classic '57 mustang stored under a tarp.

When he pulled the dark blue car up to her house she was already waiting at the end of the driveway, perched on a fallen tree in a paisley sundress and aviator shades.

"I hope we're not going anywhere swanky, I'm not dressed to fit in with snobs!" she called out to him as he parked and got out to open her door.

Shayna was relieved when she saw he was wearing his favorite camo cargos and a tank top.

"Don't worry, you look great…" he assured her, pausing in his visual sweep at the oversized combat boots tied to her feet. "You really got a thing for Jace's boots huh? You know he's been bitching about them for days now right?"

"Too bad. He lost them in that bet fair and square." she retorted before leaning in to give him a short and sweet kiss on his thin suntanned lips. "I didn't eat all that damn cinnamon for nothing."

When Van pulled the car to a stop sometime later Shayna looked over at him with a flat expression.

"Lay Landing? Really?" she questioned with a raised brow, tilting her head towards the cliff they'd parked a scarce few feet from.

He gave her a sheepish grin, looking out to the sunset view overlooking the pond and all the wealthy homes down below.

"This isn't it, just think of it as the date appetizer." he suggested, reaching behind her seat to grab his backpack and the joint hidden inside. "Flip hooked me up with your favorite kind."

A sheepish grin of her own spread across her face. She felt a little guilty now for assuming he'd only taken her out there to come cop a feel. She should have known he had something else planned. Especially after the rant she'd gone on about wanting an actual real date. And not just another night of gallivanting around with the boys.

"Yeah, have a little faith." he chuckled at her expression, reaching over to hand her the jay and flick the little silver cross necklace seated on her chest.

With a minuscule roach snuffed out in the ashtray they sat there watching the sun go down, her head resting on his chest, his arm draped across her shoulders. Their half closed bloodshot eyes taking in all the colors of the setting sun.

"Believing in nothing is so…bleak though. I don't know if I really believe but I like having something I can hold onto when shit gets rough, you know?" Shayna murmured, continuing where her baked ramblings had left off.

Van shrugged, never having thought their high-on conversation would have led to religious beliefs. One of the worst topics you could possibly pick for a date. But it wasn't like that with them, they didn't argue. They just talked.

"I'm not saying you have to, you know I'm not one of _those_ Christians." she backtracked, letting out a little laugh when he did too.

"I'm just saying, for me, it's comforting to believe there's something better waiting for us. And all the people we've lost too. I think that's my favorite part. Believing you get to see them again…" she trailed off, thinking of all the loved ones she'd lost that she believed were waiting for her up above.

"Even if you're right and it's all bullshit and there's nothing after we die. I like the lie, it's comforting."

"Kind of like that white lie you told when Jace asked if those acid washed jeans made him look fat?" Van asked jokingly, making her roar with laughter.

"Yeah, kind of like that." she chuckled, nuzzling her face into the warm sun-kissed skin peeking out from the edge of his wife-beater.

She was content to just sit there with him until a sharp sting in her thigh brought her hand smacking down. Murdering the little bloodsucker that bit her.

"So where're we going?" she asked excitedly, slapping herself again when she felt another leech hovering near her skin.

"Well I'll give you a clue." he offered as he turned the ignition key and began backing out onto the road. "I took you here because we had to wait until the sun went down."

Shayna faked ignorance, giving several incorrect speculations as they made their way through the curvy dark roads that led from the pond community into town. Trying to make him feel clever about his date planning.

"Iiiiis it the Drive-In?" she finally guessed, clapping and bouncing in her seat when he nodded and gave her a crooked half smile as he continued driving.

"Yes! You know I love the Drive-In. What are we going to see?" she babbled excitedly, a horrified gasp leaving her a second later.

There in the road straight ahead was a little mini cooper that'd stalled, the engine cold and dead. The winding lightless road didn't reveal the impending danger until the last second. Van couldn't stop in time so he swerved to the right. Not caring about car damage but rather the stranded pedestrian motorists that were standing outside the vehicle.

He'd never forget the sound that night. The screaming of his tires as he desperately tried to stop. The busting glass of the windows shattering as the car rolled over a guard rail and smashed into a tree. And the pained blood-chilling scream that came last.

When Van woke up he could hear people. It was raining like the heavens had opened up and cried just for them. There were people standing all around now. Other drivers had stopped to block the road. Headlights facing each way. Illumining the tragedy. And the road behind to prevent another accident.

Something warm was dripping down into his eyes. But somehow he blinked through it, his head screaming with pain. There in the road not far from him was a crumpled body highlighted by the shining lights.

As he began to crawl he ignored the shouts for him not to move. Every inch he drug himself was agony. But nothing compared to the sight of her as he got closer.

Shayna's clothes here ripped and torn. One foot bare from Jace's boot being flung off when she was thrown from the vehicle. Her body was twisted at an unnatural angle. But as he neared her he could see her chest weakly rising and falling in the outline created by the headlights. Faint puffs of exhaled warm air raising into the cold night. There was so much blood everywhere. On her dress, staining her dirty blonde hair, covering her paleing skin.

Van crouched over her, ignoring the pain of his broken bones and lacerations. He lifted her head, guilty tears falling from his eyes as the glass shards in her face shone brighter in that position.

"Hold..me..Van." she rasped out, more blood gurgling from her mouth before she took another ragged struggling breath.

He held her close. His sobs shaking them both as she fought the blood filling her lungs. He never thought their time together would be cut so short. But that's an illusion must young people carry, that we're guaranteed more time. Van's naive mindset was shattered just as bad as her ribcage as he realized how easily someone you love can be ripped away by death in a heartbeat.

"Y-you've..got to..be good.. So..you can..see me…" she tried to breathe out, getting cut off by his lips.

He didn't want to hear it. Instead sealing their last kiss with a silent prayer promise to god. That he'd repent in the hope that one day the lord would reunite them. With the hope that one day this wouldn't be their last kiss.

"I will." he promised before pulling back.

Only to find she'd already left this world. Her cold blue eyes staring up at him with an heartbreaking emptiness. She was gone to heaven.

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**Written in loving memory of Shane M. Davis**

**October 13****th**** 1989 - August 16****th**** 2009**

**Five years and I still miss you just the same. **

**Don't drink and drive kids!**

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_Last Kiss by Pearl Jam_

_Oh where, oh where, can my baby be? _

_The Lord took her away from me._

_She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good, _

_So I can see my baby when I leave this world._

_We were out on a date in my daddy's car,_

_We hadn't driven very far._

_There in the road straight ahead,_

_A car was stalled, the engine was dead._

_I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right,_

_I'll never forget the sound that night._

_The screaming tires, the busting glass,_

_The painful scream that I heard last._

_Oh where, oh where, can my baby be? _

_The Lord took her away from me._

_She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good, _

_So I can see my baby when I leave this world._

_When I woke up, the rain was falling down,_

_There were people standing all around._

_Something warm flowing through my eyes,_

_But somehow I found my baby that night._

_I lifted her head, she looked at me and said;_

_"Hold me darling just a little while."_

_I held her close I kissed her - our last kiss,_

_I found the love that I knew I had missed._

_Well now she's gone even though I hold her tight,_

_I lost my love, my life that night._

_Oh where, oh where, can my baby be? _

_The Lord took her away from me._

_She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good, _

_So I can see my baby when I leave this world_.


End file.
